Get out of my head
by EADF
Summary: Desmond is still stuck in the Animus
1. Chapter 1

Desmond wasn't having a good day. First, the Animus had gone on a fritz leaving him in the year 1500 but in Venezia instead of Roma, and then he was stuck explaining to a confused Ezio who he was and how he was able to have a conversation with someone from the future.

After an hour of explaining how the Animus worked and how it currently wasn't, Ezio seemed sated until he had a sudden thought.

"So all those times I was with Cristina and Caterina… and…the courtesans, you were there?"

Desmond grinned nervously. "Well, I had no choice but to go through each memory in order to properly synch."

Ezio's eyes grew stormy. "What I do in private was none of anyone's business." He said clutching the front of his hoodie.

"Look, man…" Desmond started to explain, when suddenly he felt himself being thrust back. At first, he thought that the Animus had begun working again, but when he found himself opening his eyes to the picturesque canals of Venezia, he grew alarmed.

"Uh..Rebecca!" He called nervously.

"Merda! What are you doing in my head?" Ezio asked.

Desmond looked all around him, and sure enough he had somehow gotten inside Ezio's head. Correction, he realized-due to some malfunction, he had become part of Ezio. As the Assassin walked, he did too. When he jumped from one roof to another, he leapt too. Every trickle of sweat, every brush of air on his face; he felt it too!

"Rebecca? What the hell is going on?"

"Go away!" Ezio bellowed.

"I can't! I'm stuck in here. Ow! Would you be careful?"

"What are you talking about?" Ezio said, getting out of the haystack after he had performed a leap of faith.

"The fall gave me a cut on the arm." Desmond complained.

Ezio looked at his arm. "Your arm? I have a measly cut, so what?"

"Since I'm feeling exactly what you are, can't you be a little careful?"

Ezio grinned. "Everything?"

"What are you up to?" Desmond asked as Ezio moved towards a bard standing by the docks.

"_Somewhere on a rooftop, there's a hero in a hood, fear him not, lest you have sinned, for his cause is good."_

"Ugh! That's terrible!" Desmond said. "Could we move on now?"

"Magnifico!" Ezio told the bard. "More."

"_In times of greatest sorrow, when the lions rule the land, he strikes from deepest shadow, he is fate's avenging hand." _

"My ears are bleeding." Desmond cried.

"I'm enjoying this."

Desmond squeezed his eyes shut. There had to be some way he could control this too. He concentrated on raising Ezio's hand and succeeded.

"Hey!"

Desmond made Ezio thrust his hand into his money bag and come out with a hundred florins.

"No!" Ezio warned as Desmond made him throw it towards the bard. "That was my hard earned money."

"From pickpocketing." Desmond reminded him.

Ezio pushed past the bard and strode towards a few laborers unloading boxes from the ship.

"You know if you just stand still, they'll walk right around you?"

He felt Ezio smiling again and then walk straight towards them.

"No!" Desmond yelled one of the laborers bumped into them.

"Hey, you!" he said angrily as the crate smashed on the ground. "Watch where you're going."

"You've had your fun, but you do realize you're getting hurt too."

"I'm used to it." Ezio said walking into the path of another one.

" Uffa!" the man cried as another crate was reduced to pieces.

Before Desmond could react, Ezio sprinted off towards the canals.

"Look, I know what you're up to but…"

"Time for a swim." Ezio said.

"No, wait. I'm scared of water! I can't swim!" he lied.

"I'm not and I can." Ezio dived into the water and Desmond gasped. The water around him smelled and he could see algae floating beside him. He turned ahead to see rotten food drifting towards him and gagged.

"That's disgusting! I can literally feel the filth clinging to me."

"Welcome to my era." Ezio replied and swam quickly across.

"Why aren't there any garbage bins around?" Desmond asked as Ezio climbed back up. When he didn't reply, Desmond made Ezio slap himself.

"Hey!"

"Hey, yourself. Weren't you going to see Sister Teodora?"

"Not tonight." Ezio

"Could this day get any worse?" Desmond said exasperatedly.


	2. Chapter 2

"I have vertigo." Desmond said. Ezio was standing on the top of the Campanile di San Marco- the bell tower near Bascilica di San Marco.

"You're training to be an Assassin, no?" Ezio grinned.

"I don't think Assassins need to jump out of bell towers."

"There might be a target…" Ezio started to say, when everything started to dissolve into static once again. Desmond found himself in nothing but white emptiness. He looked down and saw that at least he wasn't Ezio.

"Uh…Rebecca? Can you hear me? What's going on?"

"Tsk! Tsk!"

" Ezio? What are you doing here?" Desmond asked as the Assassin came into view.

"I don't know. Is this how you came into my era? Through this medium?"

"No…I don't know what's happening. Rebecca?" he called.

Ezio put his hands on his hips. "Your generation has no respect for elders. I always respected my Mother and never called her by her name."

"What?"

"You're calling your Mother Rebecca. I think that's disrespectful." Ezio scolded.

"What the...no…Rebecca isn't my Mother!"

He heard a snicker and frowned.

"Shut up. Shaun!" Rebecca berated.

"Desmond is such a baby." Shaun teased.

Ezio started to look all around him. "Where are those voice coming from? What sorcery is this?"

Desmond started to explain when Shaun cut in again. "Oh grow up Desmond. We'll get you out of there as soon as Rebecca becomes a better engineer. Which might probably be in a year or two!"

"Shut up and hand me the screw driver." Rebecca yelled.

"Uh…what's going on?" Desmond asked as the static appeared once again, tearing off the white walls and suddenly, he was thrust back into Renaissance Italy. "Where am I?" He looked down at himself and saw that it was him again, except he was dressed in Ezio's robes. He put up his arm and looked at the hidden blade.

"This is strange." Ezio spoke up and Desmond clutched his forehead.

"Why does it sound like you're in my head?"

"Because I am!" Ezio hollered. "I'm supposed to be in Roma assassinating Cesare."

"Look Rebecca will figure this out." Desmond said calmly. "On the bright side, I'm me again." But to his astonishment, his hand started to rise.

"No, it seems I'm in control of your limbs."

"What? That can't happen?" Desmond said and started to walk, only to be pulled back. "Hey! Rebecca!"

"Well, what do you know? We're in Forli. I think we should go meet up with Caterina." Ezio said.

"I think not!" Desmond argued, but he started to walk towards the gate. "Look, we should stay low for a while until Rebecca fixes this."

"Your Mother wouldn't like it if you keep using her name like that."

"Rebecca isn't my Mother! What kind of person thinks that I would be calling out for my Mommy! I'm perfectly capable of…uh…why are we heading towards the bank?"

"I'm making sure there's nothing to steal from there."

"We've been here before, Ezio. Remember? There was a Codex page in there."

"But we could be repeating the year and I wouldn't have it."

"Fine." Desmond said exhaustedly. "But we'll first pass by and see if the box is really there…what are you doing?"

Desmond found himself walking straight towards the guards.

"There's nothing here for you, stronzo!" the guard warned and pushed him back.

"I told you to not do that." Desmond said quietly.

But to his mortification, Ezio was leading him back towards the guards.

"Get out of here!" the guard said, pushing him again.

"Okay!" Desmond said and to his relief, Ezio was making him walk away. "That was not cool. The box was empty and that was a waste of time." His hand started to rise and he looked at the poster of Ezio on the wall. "I don't think we should do this in front of the guards."

Ezio made him pause and then in a swift moment, Desmond was compelled to rip the poster off the wall.

"Hey!" The guard called and walked over to him.

"Get ready." Ezio told him.

"For what?" Desmond asked and to his horror he threw a punch right at the guard's face.

"Ragazzi, over here!" The guards called and six guards came running towards them with their swords ready.

"Shit! Where are the smoke bombs?" Desmond asked, rummaging through his pouches. " At least I finally have some control now."

"Perhaps." Ezio replied slyly and Desmond's hand suddenly moved towards a pouch and pulled it out. He flung it at the guard in haste and watched with his mouth open as dozens of coins spilled out, hitting the guard on his face.

"He's bribing us." One of the guards yelled.

"Run!" Ezio said.

"Make me!" Desmond said and Ezio made him climb up the nearest wall and onto the roof.

"Where's the roof garden when you need one." Ezio replied.

"There!" Desmond pointed to the side and found himself being thrown inside it. He gasped for breath as the guards ran past them. "I think we lost them."

"Si. Now what?" Ezio asked.

"Now we do as I say." Desmond replied firmly.


	3. Chapter 3

"So are we going to sit on this bench all day?" Ezio asked glumly.

"Shut up! I'm trying to listen for Rebecca. Surely she must have all this figured out by now." Desmond replied, irritated. He had been sitting on the bench near the Abbazia di San Mercuriale- the church in Forli for an hour now.

Ezio stayed quiet for a few minutes and then spoke up again. "How about we go pay Caterina a visit."

"How about WE remain quiet." Desmond replied and the man next to him looked at him quizzically. Desmond sighed and got up.

"Finally. My legs were getting restless." Ezio said.

Desmond started to walk. "Maybe this is all a dream. Maybe I'm going crazy like Subject sixteen."

"Subject sixteen? That's a peculiar name."

"Subject sixteen is not his name. He was before me." Desmond explained.

"Before you?"

"I don't know how to explain this or what's happening. I don't want to be stuck in here for the rest of my life." Desmond said. "Rebecca? Rebecca!"

"Oh, here comes the Bard." Ezio said cheerfully.

"No freakin' way." Desmond said and started to run when he tripped and fell over his own feet. "Ufff!"

"For someone who's training to be an Assassin, that wasn't very graceful." Ezio taunted.

"_Somewhere on a rooftop…" _The Bard started to sing and then hesitated. "Uh…Umm…_a hero in the woods…._no…uh…"

Desmond picked himself up and ran leaving the confused Bard behind.

"Watch out for the puddle!" Ezio warned and Desmond side stepped just in time.

"See? I'm not that….Uffff!" A group of men and women pushed past him and Desmond tumbled and fell into the puddle. "Damn this!" he cried clutching his foot. "It hasn't rained for months, so where did the freakin' puddle come from?"

"Uh…that's not water." Ezio replied.

Desmond took a whiff of his hand and scowled. "Ugh! This smells like…YUCK!"

Ezio chuckled as Desmond got up. "They're little kids. It's supposed to be a prank."

"It's not funny!" Desmond said.

"Desmond?" Rebecca spoke up.

"Rebecca! What's the hold up? I wanna get out of here. Did you figure out what the problem is?"

"Yeah!" Rebecca answered. "There's a small program I installed in the animus to keep you from going insane like Subject Sixteen that separated your personality from Ezio's. The problem is that there was a small short circuit caused by a spill and well, your personality and Ezio's personality has merged into your person."

"You mean Ezio isn't really here?" Desmond said, feeling relieved for a few seconds before realization hit. "That means that I have a multiple personality disorder?"

"Nah!" Rebecca said casually. "I just need to clean this with a rag…hey wait a minute…this looks like a tea stain."

"Don't look at me." Shaun said.

"You're the only one who drinks tea around here." Rebecca replied. "Wait, there's a ketchup stain here too."

"Oh." Desmond said feebly. "I was kind of eating a sandwich a few nights ago."

"On my Baby!" Rebecca said, aghast.

"I got hungry." Desmond said.

"Well that explains how Desmond is putting on weight." Shaun replied.

"Funny." Desmond said. "I need the nutrition."

"Anyway, you hogs!" Rebecca said angrily. "It will take me a few minutes to get this sorted out. Till then Desmond, stay out of trouble. Okay?"

"Of course." Desmond walked over to a bench and sat down.

"Are we sitting down again?" Ezio complained.

"You're not real. It's all in my head." Desmond reminded himself.

Ezio stayed quite for a few minutes. "How about we go have some fun."

"Stop being an instigator!"

"This is boring."

"What? Being on the ground instead of the rooftops?"

"We could challenge the thieves to a race."

Desmond sighed. "I'm staying put."

Ezio suddenly pushed Desmond up. "I have a better idea."

"Where are you leading me?" Desmond asked.

"I hid one of Leonardo's flying machines near the Romagna docks." Ezio said and made him walk out of the gates.

"I thought there was only the one." Desmond said.

"They're easy to build." Ezio said, heading towards a fortress.


	4. Chapter 4

"The view from up here is so amazing. I've ever seen anything like it." Desmond said. He was standing on top of a fortress, looking below at the docks and then far across at the Forli city walls. "In a couple hundred years, the city is going to be even more beautifully transformed.

"Are you ready?" Ezio asked.

Desmond looked at the Flying Machine apprehensively. The contraption looked like it would disintegrate with the tiniest breath of air. But he knew better; the Flying Machine had been sturdy and pretty effective against the Templars.

"Okay." Desmond said. "I just hope I don't break any bones."

He heard a snicker and frowned. Shaun was obviously eavesdropping again. "You're not actually out there. You're sitting right before us on this chair."

"My Baby." Rebecca corrected. "Just a few more minutes, and you'll be out of there."

"Might as well enjoy this." Desmond said and placed his hands on the bar. "So I just jump off this fort?"

"Si." Ezio said. " Don't make any mistakes.

"I'm pretty good at gliding." Desmond replied.

"Maybe, but then again I've seen you trip over your own feet."

"Quit your whining and jump already." Shaun interrupted. "I want to see how the real Desmond does this instead of a Master Assassin."

"Hello? Remember I've already relived this and gained Ezio's abilities?" Desmond reminded. "I can totally pull this off."

"Just jump already!" Rebecca said excitedly.

Desmond took a deep breath, rushed forward and leapt.

"Ahhhhh!"

"Easy." Ezio told him. "Pull yourself up and let the Flying Machine do its thing."

Desmond let Ezio help him up and relaxed his shoulders. "This is fun." They were flying over the Romagna docks and towards Forli. Desmond felt the wind brush his face and grinned. He was having so much fun and the people below him were completely oblivious to his presence. He wondered how they would react if they turned their necks up. He pushed himself straight ahead and now he was over the city of Forli.

"Watch out for the guards below."

"Pshaw!" I can take care of this. " Desmond started to lower down and let his legs drop out from the bar. " One swift kick and…Aaaahhhh!" Desmond found himself slipping and put his legs back on the support only to let his hands slip away in the confusion.

"Help! I'm dangling from my legs! I'm gonna fall!"

Ezio remained quiet for a while and then yelled. "Fall, _idiota!_"

"No!" Desmond said and flailed his arms. "I can't grab at it!"

"Trust me and let yourself drop."

Desmond closed his eyes. "I can't!"

"Listen to him, he's the voice of reason." Shaun spoke up.

"Relax, Desmond." Rebecca said. "Hey, Shaun. Guess who has to cook and clean for a week?"

"Sheesh! Next time I'm betting money instead. Thanks a lot Desmond!" Shaun said angrily.

Desmond took a deep breath and let go from the glider. He felt himself falling fast and after a few seconds, he hit the water surface.

"I'm fine!" Desmond said, spluttering water out of his mouth. "I'm fine!"

"Si." Ezio said distractedly. "Now get out before the guards appear."

Desmond swam towards the stairs and got up. "That was close. Man, I'm never going up again!"

"_Laggiù!" _A guard called. Four more guards joined him and they rushed over to Desmond.

"Uh-oh!" Desmond said. "Look, Ezio. No more tricks okay."

"_Bene." _ Ezio replied solemnly. "Now remove the dagger from your belt."

Desmond obeyed Ezio and removed his dagger, holding it before him in defense.

"_Don't hurt me! I'm beauuuuttttiiful!" _A woman screamed.

The guard captain took one look at her and scoffed. "Not really."

The woman put her hands on her hips and scowled. She bent down, picked up a rock and flung it at the guards.

"Men, after her!" The captain ordered. Two guards immediately rushed towards her. The woman took one look at them and raced away.

" _Tutti pazzi!" _ A man from the crowd remarked.

"After him men." The other two guards ran after him.

"Looks like it's just me and you!" Desmond grinned.

The captain looked behind him and swallowed. "I'll be enough!"

"Stand down." A woman's voice said firmly.

"Caterina!" Ezio said happily.

Caterina Sforza came up from behind the captain and gestured him to leave. The Captain snarled and Caterina threw him a haughty glance and sent him away.

"Nice to see you _caro mio_!" Caterina said, putting out her hand.

Desmond took it and shook it. "Nice to see you too."

"Be charming!" Ezio scolded. "She gave her hand to be kissed, _idiota! _ Don't ruin my reputation."

Desmond stared at Caterina stupidly. "Uh…you look youthful this evening."

Caterina pouted. "You're tired I suppose. Come, let me take you home."

Desmond followed her as she spoke about how she was in Forli for a week before heading to Florence.

"That's interesting." Desmond said distractedly. He knew exactly how her meeting in Florence was going to turn out and felt sorry for her.

Once inside her home, Desmond looked at all the children running around. "Do you think any of these are yours?" he asked quietly.

"I don't think so." Ezio replied. "Wait! That boy over there? He has my eyes. And my chin. And my nose."

"Time to go Desmond." Rebecca told him. "I've rebooted the system. Get ready to wake up."

"That can't be true!" Ezio wailed. "I'm too young to be a Father!"

"You're like forty or fifty!" Desmond reminded him and suddenly the scene before him tore apart. He found himself surrounded by white nothingness again. A steady throb began in his head and he was jerked awake.

"That was rough." Shaun told Rebecca.

"Shut up, Shaun."

" Guys, my head is pounding." Desmond said, clutching his forehead and then blinked. "But at least I'm back." He waited for a few seconds for Ezio to speak up and then leaned back and relaxed his head.

Two nights later, Desmond was sitting in the Animus again but still wide awake.

"Had a rough day?" Shaun asked coming over with a tray of teacups.

"Killed a few Templar agents. I mean, Ezio killed them." Desmond said, taking a teacup from the tray.

"I thought Chamomile tea would help you relax."

"Thanks, man." Desmond said, sipping at his tea. "The sandwich you made for lunch was pretty good."

Shaun sat down and sipped from his own cup. "Don't get used to it. If you hadn't fallen off the Flying Machine, Rebecca would have been cleaning the toilets."

Desmond started to laugh and the teacup slipped from his fingers and the tea spilled onto the Animus.

"Ouch! Hot!" Desmond said jumping up.

Shaun shook his head. "Butterfingers."

"You think Rebecca's going to be mad when she finds out I've spilled something again?" Desmond asked taking off his stained jacket.

"Nah! What's a little spill?" Shaun said and then gasped when he heard a sizzling sound. The computer screen went off and a spark flew out.

"Desmond! Shaun! Was that my Baby?" Rebecca called from her room.

Desmond and Shaun looked at each other in fright and ran away quickly.


End file.
